Finding Yourself After Kids
Hey Y’all Hey! Kijan ou Ye! How are you doing?
How to find balance between the woman you were and the woman you are becoming?
After having my son, so many people told me how important it was to staying true to who I was. But I quickly realized that was not possible. I was no longer the woman I once was. All the challenges I experienced while being pregnant changed me. I am wiser, smarter, and I listen to my gut more often than not.
In the beginning, I would say the first three months after giving birth, I did not give myself enough grace. I was struggling so much to find myself while grasping on to who I once was. Instead of embracing the changes and working on things within my control, I was fighting against it because I no longer recognized the new woman that was staring back at me in the mirror.
No one told me that I had to merge who I was with becoming someone’s mom. This was and still is something that I am teaching myself. I have to find that balance for myself. Finding myself meant figuring out the balance. Yes, I am now a mom but I am still a person, a woman. Being a mom is not end all, be all. My life 100% revolves around my son but I find ways to make it work.
The number 1 thing that has made the journey to finding myself after having my son bearable is my village. I’m blessed to have family and friends that are willing to step in when I need a break or someone to talk to. I have a circle of friends that are not mothers but understand that sometimes I need to bring my son with me on outings. Read 5 ways to balance life & motherhood for more tips if you are struggling to find balance.
Nothing prepares you for this change. No amount of reading books, forums, online journals, or speaking with other mothers prepares you. Becoming a parent is so personal, every parent is different and every child is different. There may be some similarities but the differences will outshine more.
Becoming a mom has been such a learning period. I thought I knew things based on what I saw in the past or read but every day my son is teaching me new things.
I know that some people say that when you become a mom that your life cease to exist. But I am here to say that is false. Life is still fun! Heck I find that it’s more fun now that I am a mom. Honestly, it might be more tiring but I’m here for the ride and I’m learning to enjoy all the ups and downs. There definitely is an adjustment especially for my fellow single moms out there, but life is still enjoyable.
As a mom, sometimes I tend to be hard on myself but I keep reminding myself that in order for me to be the best mom to my son, I have to be at my best. So, enjoy your life and don’t be too hard on yourself. You don’t need to be the woman you once were. The woman you are now is a better version.
Until the next post…
Live with purpose, Love with passion, Laugh with pleasure